Sunday 20 March 2011

Dreaming of great paychecks?

So I was off in cyber space trawling through writing resources, and
web pages promising success. I have read writing blogs which make me
laugh and those that bore me into a vegetative state.

One tiny, itsy, bitsy thing I noticed is how many ‘ehem’ writing web pages
and writing bloggers out there claim to have step by step instructions on how you will become vastly rich and famous by writing their way. Am I the only one who feels there ought to be virtual gongs we can ring? Nah, I want to beat the gong. Let's have gongs we can beat. Gongs that will sing a warning to all those that read that expert writing advice. Since there's no gongs, let's consider these 5 easy steps.

Step one: Set your rate. The most important thing a writer must do, is
decide how much they want to be paid and stick to it.

Now WHAT is up with that? Am I the only writer that just
feels so darn appreciative to see my name in print that I would do anything short
of actually paying for it (*whispers* cause having four children is
darn expensive, but seriously after their uni fees are paid, I will
totally use the spare cash...)

I am starting to think the ship left without me on it, because I have,
and no I am not exactly Asimov here, never had an editor ask me 'so uh
how much do you want?'.

Step 2. Guide to copy right and protection laws. Seriously at
this point this writer hasn’t even written anything and is already
sending out preemptive invoices. Are they copy writing the invoices?

Step 3: Managing your finances. Finances, what finances? Unless some
poor person has paid you upfront, there is no money that needs
managing.

Step 4: Marketing. Obviously marketing is important, and I do not mean
to suggest perhaps step 4 in a writer’s guide should not be marketing.
However, I still don’t see any actual product to market.

Step 5: How to handle rejection. (No kidding, eh!)

Wow, well there it is folks, my summary of the ‘writing - how - to' web page's least
helpful guides to becoming infinitely rich through your impressive writing.

Over then next week we'll look at some of the best advice I've been told, read about, and seen.

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