The noise was appalling, The dim was obscene,
I doubt if you’d hear an elephant scream,
They were jumping around in sweat shirts and shirts
While the person in charge besides them, exhorts –
`Go faster – push harder, you’ll never lose weight
If you lean on that bar like a cow on a gate.’
The music gets louder, the faces grow grim,
Is it worth all this effort just to get slim?
With dumb bells and treadmills the dumb-belles proceed
To rub off those inches that accrue from their greed.
A clinic for fitness? Or fetish for pain?
What urge keeps them trying to lose what they gain?
Keep going, don’t slacken, their bodies drip sweat
If they keep to the programme there’s hope for them yet.
THE TERRIBLE TALE OF LISA WHOSE SUCCESSFUL WORK ETHIC LED TO HER REDUNDANCY!
Lisa excelled man made machines
As tester out of trampolines,
She craved for food, out grew her home,
Then rivalled the Millennium Dome.
But unrestricted exercise
Rapidly reduced her size.
Disaster struck! Calamity!
She lost her job. Redundancy!
Poor girl, she's now compelled to sit
At home - alone - on benefit.